jesssmithwriting

Devote yourself to your purpose and you will cultivate the life you desire.

Tag: life

2015

Written to the sounds of Mick Jenkins “Canada Dry” and “Healer”:

Jess,

You do not need to “remedy” yourself. See any growth from this day forward as building upon a solid foundation, rather than filling a void within yourself. Be gentle.

Forgive your “weaknesses” and be sure that these are “weaknesses” by your choice and not someone else’s.

Feed your strengths. Work the system around them..yes, this is a possibility. In fact, this is what all successful people have done.

Embrace your eccentricities.

Nurture tenderness in yourself and everyone around you.

Judge no one. Be empathetic towards those who judge you. There is a place within everyone that hurts at times and many people act from this place regularly..this has nothing to do with you. Rebound anyone’s pain with Love. Love always provides a mirror. You cannot change others but you can inspire. For yourself and those around you, always act from Love.

Hold your visions close to you. When you share them, know that they will be questioned..consider this strength training.

Stay close to anything that allows you to see yourself more clearly.

Keep going to the ocean at night. You feel at home because You are made of water and stars.

If you wanna be a rapper, rap. If you wanna be a boxer, box. If you wanna be a writer, write. There are no terms and conditions to these terms ..it’s some Nike shit, Just Do It.

Be Free and stay grounded

Remember that any Great artists/athletes/people you have studied can only be seen by you as “Great” because you see the potential within yourself to be Great. Always feed your potential.

Continue shattering the illusion of barriers until the day comes that We realize there are no such things.

Gratitude. Always be Grateful.

Above all..Enjoy the ride.

Love, Jess

Advertisements

Tell Me I Can’t..Creating “My Own Movement”

In the Woodkid video I attached in the previous post he says a couple things that got through to me: 1) “Curiosity is about filling the gaps that you have inside of you.” and 2) “Create your own movement.” 

There have been times when I have told people my goals and they respond with some sort of warning, as if to save me from inevitable defeat. I have learnt to be very careful about who I share my aspirations with, and no one really knows the depth of them. I have found there is a balance between being able to verbalize goals and keeping them to myself for “safety’s” sake. 

As I have gone through life I have learned there are people who are going to “talk you down” no matter what you tell them you want to achieve. The first thing I do when someone starts talking down my goals is, look at their life. How do they seem to feel about their own circumstances? Do they complain about work/life regularly? Do they have any dreams besides plainly existing? My guess is they are quite unhappy with where they are at. People have a tendency to project their own “shit” onto others in the hopes of putting themselves just a bit “above.” And I have fallen into believing these people, taking their word. Only to then a few days, weeks, months down the road, look back at our conversation and wonder why I ever listened to them in the first place. 

I 100% believe that a huge part of achieving “success” is by surrounding ourselves with people who have a similar idea of success. Surround yourself with people who stir something up inside of you, in a positive way. Surround yourself with people who intimidate and even threaten you due to everything they have achieved (because the minute someone threatens you, without having made any sort of attack on you, it is due to an insecurity inside of yourself). Deal with your insecurities by putting yourself directly in circumstances that make you feel afraid. There is a difference between people who threaten your dreams because they talk you down and people who threaten you because they have achieved/are in the process of achieving what you want to. Surround yourself with the latter. 

We are only able to take our lives where we can take our minds. How are you supposed to go somewhere, be it physically, mentally, spiritually, that you do not believe could potentially exist? Create an environment for yourself in which curiosity is nurtured. We were given curiosity, a desire to explore, so that we may see/learn that greater and bigger things DO exist. I want to write a book one day, I want to speak to people in large volumes..I have only told a few people these things and I have had both ideas shot down. I was told, “just choose one thing.” And to those people I say, thanks but no thanks. I will not allow my life to be a smaller version than I want because I took the advice of someone who had no dreams of their own.

Nurture your curiosity. Fill the gaps inside of you through the process of discovery. Never get too comfortable. Take risks. Push the limits. CREATE YOUR OWN MOVEMENT. Just because no one has done what you want to do, does not make it impossible, it simply means no one has thought about things the way you have. 

My Path: The Questioning and It’s Beauty

Part One: The Questioning
There are days I am absolutely sure of “where I am going”, days I don’t for a moment question my path. Then there are days where I wake up very unsure of myself.

Singing/performing music has always been my retreat from the world..my beautiful escapism. When they say “music is my drug” it comes off cliche, but it truly is my drug. I go somewhere outside of this planet, some place where I get to exist in my most raw and vulnerable form. A place where people’s perceptions of me are irrelevant and more importantly my perception of myself is irrelevant.

I always believed that because this was what I was most passionate about, in order to be happy in life I HAD to pursue music as a career. This is now something I question regularly. And THIS is my deepest secret. I always judged people who questioned their art. I thought that meant they didn’t care enough, didn’t love it enough. So now, karma is coming full circle as I question my career and critically judge myself.

I have come to learn that it is not so much my ART that I question, but the industry I have to enter if I choose to make a career out of my art. There is so much about the music industry and “show business” that honestly disgusts me. Show business is not about art, show business is about MONEY. And I am NOT about money. I innocently (and accidentally) fell into this with honest intentions, to make art and share it with the world. I did not realize the business side of what I was entering into when I made the choice to pursue this dream. The show industry is built upon ideals that in NO way, shape or form align with Who I Am.

People ask me “Jessica, why don’t you go on one of those singing shows? Go on Canadian Idol or something?” And I always respect that those asking this want the best for me, so I respond with something along the lines of “oh that’s not really my thing, pop music.” What I am truly thinking is “that is the nearest thing to selling my soul.” While I have much respect for the talented contenders of these shows, I see what a twisted scheme the whole thing is. I watch a young, innocent, talented kid enter a competition to achieve their dreams and come out a generic PRODUCT. They choose their most suitable/marketable bubble for each contender and SELL. What some people don’t realize is that once you win a competition like this, there are contracts that bind you. When some labels sign you, they assume the right to “OWN” you. There are countless stories I have heard/read about where artists lose rights to their music, where they are told what they can and cannot do, and what kind of art they can and cannot create. When people are desperate to achieve their dreams they don’t pay attention the rights they are possibly signing away. THESE are the reasons I question what I am doing.

MUSIC I love, with all of my heart. It has saved me over and over. The music industry on the other hand, is so far removed from reality, in the worst possible way. And I am afraid of it. I am afraid of having to become something I am not. The reality is, I will NEVER become someone else’s product. I will never allow someone to tell me who I can or cannot be. I will NOT pretend. I have spent so much time and energy discovering Who I Am and learning to love that person, and to lose that now would be detrimental.

I have never shared this with anyone, and I am afraid to. I want to be the girl who “always wanted this” and “always will want this,” but I am not sure right now. I am not sure if I am willing to be a part of an industry in which it’s ideals do not align with Who I Am and what I value.

Part 2: The Beauty in the Questioning
At first it scared and threatened me to be questioning the one thing in my life I was so sure of. It felt unstable. This was always my “thing” I could fall back on, when nothing else felt guaranteed. So I panicked, obviously, in true Jessica style. Do not think, do not breathe, just panic… After doing this for a little while and recognizing that I was solving nothing, I took a deep breath and told myself I needed to look at what I was scared of, what I was questioning. That is when I learned what I discussed above, that I was not questioning the art itself, but rather the industry. This was a relief because it meant I never undervalued my work and what I was creating. Where the beauty lies is that had I never questioned any of this, I may have blindly entered into a career/life that goes against so many of my beliefs. Now I at least have the foresight to be prepared and have built a shield to protect myself from anyone/anything that may try to mould me into THEIR idea of what is “right.”

I read an article written by a man named Ryan Coleman, in which he discussed the positives in questioning ourselves and he said “questions structure and guide your thinking.” If we do not question, than we are likely floating, oblivious to our reasoning for our actions. Now, post-questioning, if I decide to continue pursuing music as my career, I know that it has been a very conscious and well informed decision. I also know that I have now created a safety “moat” around me, keeping out people who do not align with my beliefs, no matter what business venture I take part in.

It is through questioning that we discover the importance of things in our lives. If we do not take the time to discern, then we are unaware. Pursuing something mindlessly, having never looking at the other possibilities keeps you in a bubble. And while that bubble may be safe, who knows what you might be missing out on. Now, on the other hand, if we take time to question the things we love (careers, relationships, etc.), there are two options: A. We release whatever it is we are questioning, because we realize it no longer serves us. OR B. We question and come back with full force, stronger than before, because we NOW know how important it is to have that “thing” in our life. There is absolutely nothing lost either way, and that is the beautiful part.