jesssmithwriting

Devote yourself to your purpose and you will cultivate the life you desire.

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List 906

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  • Accept what comes to you for what it is, not what you “want” (expect) it to be. For me, this generally equates to dudes & musical opportunities / relationships. When I sense a decent dude or musical opportunity, I look at it with a hazey, dreamy outlook. Now, this would be ok if I was loving these things for exactly what they are, exactly in the moment. But placing a “dreamy” outlook on something that hasn’t happened yet = a dream…aka not reality. Keep people + things in your life that give you that tingling delicious feeling, exactly as they are..here and now.
  • Be gentle with the people who love you most. This is something I learned when I went home for Christmas and had my family tell me to go home because I was being such a bitch..lol..but not lol. I can be disrespectful towards my family because I know they’ll never leave my side. And this is not right. I have taken them for granted, but not in an obvious way. I didn’t suck my family’s money, I didn’t use them for things, but I used their energy. I was selfish with my pain. There are things that hurt me and I chose for years not to forgive my family. I thought this would keep me on top. But instead it kept me defensive and left me defenceless in the end. The evening of Christmas (lol..but again not lol), as I was crying and screaming at my brother, he said to me “do you blame God when it feels like your life is going wrong?” “No,” I said. Then he said one of the most life changing things I have heard, “well you have to treat everyone that way, you cannot blame people for your pain” “you have to love people the way you love God, because they are all a piece of that.” This is the moment I learned true forgiveness. Not just saying some words and hoping a superficial weight will be lifted off of me. Forgiveness where I remembered what real love is. Real love is leaving space for people to be human. Real love is recognizing you are going to feel hurt by people, but knowing that was never their intention.
  • Send love to what hurts you. I also learned this recently and am making an effort at it. I remembered growing up learning not “to hate people” ..but I didn’t ever make the effort to love them. And I don’t mean to imply that I love everyone in the same way, I don’t. But I am making an effort to love everyone..simply for the fact that we are human and in this together.

 

xoxo Jess

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xxxplore

As a woman, it is not an empowered move to stop expressing your sexuality in order to maintain your dignity and power.

Many women, including myself, have been taught that in order to “maintain our dignity” and unfortunately to stay safe, the best move is to abstain from being sexual. Or at least reduce the amount in which we are. Sexuality is broad, but in my mind ranges from personal style choices, to artistic choices, to the obvious physical choices we make with our bodies.

In recent conversations, I have noticed a tone some women use when speaking about our sexuality and it saddens me. “I went 6 months without sex, but had to just give in,” “I feel like shit after last night”… What doesn’t sit well with me is that this part of our being has become a “falling,” a “giving in,” a “fault,” a source of shame.

From the beginning of time (lollll as if I know what it was like in the beginning of time).. but even thousands of years ago (ie. when the Bible was written) women’s sexuality was belittled, frowned upon and disrespected. Mary Magdalene was a whore and Mary..Mary (unsure of last name details) was impregnated with Jesus through immaculate conception. The concept of “purity” was born and has, in my opinion, had a very negative impact thousands of years later.

{Note: I understand this doesn’t relate to all women and some are very comfortable with their sexual expression. I also understand that there are other influences that hinder and affect people’s expression. So, let me make it clear that this article is not a blanket statement for all women’s experience. I would never be so bold (stupid) to believe I understand everyone’s story, or that I should “speak for all women.” I do NOT speak for all women, I speak for myself.}

The concept of “purity” is one that has challenged me my whole life. I have battled with it’s definition and whether or not I want to associate with it. I spent many years holding back from what I wanted, in order to maintain an image I believed I needed to live up to. My parents never pushed any beliefs down my throat, I just happened to be a sponge. When a power figure (priest, teacher, etc.) told me something, I took it as “word.” And Sunday’s in church, while they are largely responsible for my values in treating others kindly and fairly, they also bordered on detrimental to my personal growth and authenticity.

Years later I have come to the conclusion that I do not want to associate myself with anyone’s definition of purity, other than my own. And my definition is very different than any Christian definition.
Purity to me is authenticity of spirit. A pure spirit is one that follows it’s ways. It follows it’s ways, while wholeheartedly considering the well-being of the community in which it surrounds itself.

Is it truely pure to follow through and act in a way that does not align with oneself? Is it pure to take (or not take) action that does not bring joy to oneself? And I don’t mean selfish joy..I mean honest, gentle joy.

We are women, but we too are humans. And humans..all soulful, spiritual being-ness aside..have a scientific and animalistic instinct to procreate. (Aka hello sexy times.) The other side of this is that we also want to simply exist, without microscopic scrutiny of our actions and their possible relation to our sexuality. What I mean is that, while we are sexual beings, we are also simply fucking humans. Sexuality happens to be a part of us. It is not all of our being, nor is it none of it. To me there is an imbalance. We are either scrutinized for our sexuality and quietly demanded to minimize it. Named as “sluts,” told that our clothing choices make us provocative and therefore to cover up. Or we are hyper-sexualized and made into fantasy beings, built for one purpose and one purpose only..to please you, to entertain you..to fuck you.

The entertainment industry has largely banked on women’s sexuality for it’s profitability. It is time for us to take our power back into our own hands. Bring the power into normal, everyday life. Into everyday conversation. Get rid of the “awkward” vibe so many of us carry when discussing sexuality.

Where is the place for the balanced woman? The woman who accepts her sexuality as a part of her being, does what she pleases, who she pleases, when she pleases and then goes on with her life. Without the guilt, without the shame, without feeling like she’s “given a piece of herself away.” Spoiler alert: Women can receive from sex as well (or at least we pray to).

I have had conversations with men on this topic. Some have agreed that there is an imbalance and some have argued that women are shouting and screaming about a problem that doesn’t exist in our society. They argue that there is equality amongst the sexes. To these people I say, please reconsider your standpoint.

I am not a man-hater. I am not a feminist. I don’t believe in titling myself in order to validate my opinion. I believe in analyzing and comparing my personal experience to the experience of others, but ultimately speaking for myself. And I, myself have been called a slut while having sex with that man (boy). No, it was not in a sexy way. He simply said I was a slut for what I was doing..while we were having sex. I have been screamed at, called a slut in the middle of a pub because a friends-with-benefits partner told me he was falling for me and I could not reciprocate those feelings. I have been stalked by a man, who would not stop calling me for 6 months and came to my work to find me after I ended our situation. I have been sexually harassed over the phone by a man, who to this day I do not know. He called me repeatedly 4 nights in a row until I called the police and traced him through the phone company. I have been touched countless times when I did not ask or allow for it. I have women in my life who have been sexually harassed/assaulted in much stronger ways. And then there are the women who are being mocked for not expressing the sexual part of themselves. Before I ever acknowledged this part of my being, I was mocked for being “too good.” So, here’s my point. Society, which ultimately is us..needs to stop. Stop with the imbalance. Stop with the quiet shame. The loud shame. Stop with the silent punishment. The loud punishment. Stop with the “rules.” Rules of purity, of sexuality. Let one another be. And keep to yourself, if you are potentially harmful to others. And this goes for women too. We as women need to stand for one another. Don’t mock another woman if she isn’t overtly sexual. Don’t mock a women if she’s extremely sexual. If she’s kinky, don’t call her fucked up. End the word SLUT. Fucking kill that word already.

We only have each other, so we must defend that. Woman. Man. And everyone in between. Judgement is no one’s business. We need to decide for ourselves who we want, what we want, how we want it. Express ourselves. Protect ourselves. And above all, be gentle. With ourselves and everyone around us. Sexuality is an experiment, as is the rest of life. We get the opportunity to xxxplore and express. We can do so quietly through introspection, reading, educating ourselves, watching porn in the comfort of our own bed. Or we can explore and express it loudly, taking nude pics, dressing how we feel, having sexual experiences with whomever, whenever is right for us. Or we can do none of it! Because sometimes that’s great too. Whatever makes us happy. We’ve got to be true to ourselves and our desires. But we’ve gotta have fun man. We’ve got one life and this is a part of it. And it can bring us so much joy if we let go of the stigma we ourselves have built around it. So Just Do It..whatever “it” is. Ya, just do it.

Silk Worm

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(Written based off painting “Wabi-sabi” by Lauren Brevner from Vancouver, BC)

There is an understated serenity
that comes with silence
And I would be bold enough to say
The art of silence has been lost

The Peace which accompanies quiet
is a rare commodity
in the fast pace world
we have come to know

—-

When I was born
I thought I would grow to be a butterfly

Then the day came when I realized
wings had not grown upon my back
I was not a caterpillar, fresh from the cocoon
I was not the seedling of a butterfly

Rather,
I was a silk worm

Now,
one might think
the knowledge of my new fate
would break me

I may be crushed having realized
I would never be adorned
in the gown, the wings
She gets to wear

I too,
thought I would be lost without my perceptions

For,
the identity I had come to know
had been be washed away
with the dreams of my wings

But,
mere days after the initial shock
I began to realize
my identity had not been washed away

Rather,
I was cleansed
of all the illusions
I had crafted for myself

I learned to Love my newfound destiny
My destiny of Peace

Now I would spend my days
serenely weaving exotic silk

No,
I would not fly
but that was okay
because I have seen

There is chaos in flight

There is a debilitating delicacy
that comes with dust covered wings,
wings which cannot function
if merely touched by man

No, maybe I would not get the stage
I had been building myself for
Maybe I would not get the show
my mind had designed for me

Instead
I, the silk worm
would labour
And I would be tested

Nonetheless,
I would do
I will do
what I came to do:

Create Beauty

I myself,
have not much interest in “being” beautiful

In time
With age

All decays

But,
if I create Beauty
wherever I can
whenever I can

This lives on forever

I am not timeless
But my essence is

and She,
My Love,
is beautiful

So, I will leave her
in all the places I go
I will give her
to all who are deserving

Rather than being the beautiful butterfly
I will be the silk worm
Quietly and Peacefully weaving
The most magnificent silk I can create

And I will adorn
All that I can
And All who I love
In the fruits of my labour

Home 

I am 1 in 7 billion people. I am a fraction of a fraction of the universe. Yet I still manage to convince myself that I am fully aware of my world. As of this week, I don’t have much of a clue as to where my life is headed. 

I came to Vancouver not liking the person I was. I was angry and bitter. I felt like a lost cause and was far off from reaching my potential. But I was dedicated to change that. I would pursue my artistic goals, play gigs, write. I would “make it.” So I packed my bags and hit the road. 

When I arrived, I cleansed my soul of reminant negativity from the previous chapter. I learned about food and nutrition, started going to the gym 5 days a week, doing yoga, taking martial arts classes, doing meditation, running, biking, swimming, learning to spend time in nature. I kept writing, everyday. I wrote music, practiced guitar and piano. I learned to cope with pain without drugs or alcohol. I learned to cope with pain without people. I was alone and that is how I wanted to be. I wanted to prove to myself I could stand on my own 2 feet and deal with what needed to be dealt with. I wanted to be alone and learn to love it. Free from all outside influence. I would develop the being I wanted to become. And once I created her, I would learn to love her. 

What I did not know was the level of dedication and self-control this would require. It also did not help that as a single 23 year old female, I moved into low-income housing on the downtown east side of the city. My naivety and lack of dolla dolla bills put me in an interesting spot, to say the least. But I would not back down…Also some naivety there.

What I’ve come to learn is that I don’t know everything. And what I do “know” is a type of illusion I’ve built off of my life experiences, circumstances, personality traits, etc. But, that same naivety is a beautiful illusory tool which allows us to push forward, when we otherwise may not have. 

There are an inconceivable amount of factors that build our “reality” but what we sometimes forget is that our reality is a type of illusion. We like to use terms like “reality” and “life” and “world” and “universe”,” as though we are 100% sure of what is occurring in these places. But unfortunately we forget that every single human experiences “reality” “life” “the world” differently. So how real can “reality” be, if it is a thing at all? And if it were a thing, how much of it can we as individuals determine and create? And how much of life just “happens to us”? 
When I moved to Vancouver and began learning about “positive thinking” and “manifestation.” I was thirsting for something that could shift the downward spiral I was headed on in Edmonton. These buzz words are where I began changing my “inner world/reality.” I dedicated myself to self-awareness and physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. I would master myself. 

Now, through this self-mastery (which btw is a never-ending process, before anyone tries to pin me for being an egotistical prick). Through my dedication to mental, physical and spiritual practices I did gain a fair amount of inner control and inner peace. But what they fail to mention in these teachings is that no matter how much control, peace and discipline exists on the inside, there is still an outside world. An outside world which we cannot control. It does not matter how much positive thinking you do about that job, how many resumes you send out or interviews you go to. Ultimately if the industry is scarce and that manager doesn’t like you, you aren’t getting the job. But I couldn’t accept this. I thought I was doing something wrong. So I kept grinding. Interviews, jobs, new apartments, new techniques for coping with the stress from consistently getting no response from employers, other musicians, acquaintances who I hoped would be friends. I worked and grinded, worked and grinded. Until I grinded myself down to a pulp.

Being in this self-manifesting, superhuman-building scene, I forgot that I am human. I forgot that sometimes there simply are factors beyond my control. And no matter how hard I work, how much I dedicate myself, sometimes things just don’t turn out the way we had hoped (or “visualized”..if you will LOLLL). 

I also found that while learning about manifesting my desires, I failed to consider that I may not know exactly what I NEED. Sure, I have desires but they shift daily. Needs, needs do not shift daily. They stay. And they hold on for dear life until they are met. Our soul feels the need, but our minds don’t necessarily conceive them at the same time. 

We as humans, have a tendency to be mind-based, intellectual know-it-alls. We boast our intelligence constantly. Quietly, but constantly. We lose sight of the fact that our individual intelligence is a fraction of the universal intelligence which exists. We are a mere fleck of dust in a vast expanse. A fleck of dust with subjective experiences, trials, and opinions. Furthermore, we fail to remember that our intelligence, our “knowing” is merely insignificant. (Translated: We don’t know everything. And no one, or few people at best, give a fuck about what we do know.) The small amount we potentially “know,” we blow it up in our heads, make it our world. Because we don’t know how to respond if we aren’t completely aware of everything going on around us, at all times. What can we make of our world and lives if we admit the human defeat of not being aware of all that much? 

But, this tiny amount we may “know”, even for a brief moment in time is what keeps us going. Our illusions keep us moving forward, when we may have otherwise given up. Naiveity creates just enough positivity to keep us from drowning ourselves in the nearest body of water. Which, frighteningly enough for me, is only a block away. And while this may sound heavy, as suicide references generally do, I have found a gentle calm within myself since accepting that I don’t know it all. Since accepting that, in the grand scheme of things, I know very little. 

As I near my 25th birthday, I am taking time to reflect on my life. My aspirations, dreams and above all my expectations. My ideas of the way I thought things would be. I remember thinking I would be engaged by 25, so I would still have time to make lurrrrve to my sexy-ass husband for at least 5 years before being interrupted by the cries and screams of our children. I would start having children by 30, just in time before my eggs dried up. My career would be settled, I would have full-time income from my art. I would be living in Vancouver, and would have adopted the free-spirited life of the West Coast as my own. Instead, here I am, 2 weeks away from being the big 2-5, working 4 jobs, moving to Calgary and single (like suuuper single..not dating..or having sex. God help me. And my vagina.) This is not even a fraction of what I had imagined. But this is what is equal parts terrifying and exhilarating. 

When I was 14 years old and my parents took me to Tofino, I told them “one day I’ll move here.” I was so attracted to the “free” lifestyle. I was 14 and a misfit in my rural hometown of 500 people. I wanted to be weird, let my freak flag fly! But I felt constricted by my environment. Going to BC opened my eyes to something greater than what I had known. When we lack something in our own lives, we build desires. And when we experience something that fulfills that desire (lack), even for a brief moment, like my trip to Tofino 10 years ago, we assume that “place”, that “person”, that “thing” is what we need. We put it on a pedestal. When we come from a place of lack we don’t see things for the way the are, we see them for what we want them to be. 

When I was 14 I did not know that the place I wanted to move to was one of the most expensive cities in the world. I did not know that I would only be able to afford living in a low income housing situation or split a 1 bedroom apartment with a dude who would end up having a fucking creepy crush on me. I did not know that despite having 5 years serving experience I would be turned away from 20 different restaurants. I did not know that despite being a kind, fun, funky fresh chick, making solid, reliable friends would be an absolute bitch of a thing. And what I did not know and most recently learned is: You can lay all your cards out, do everything in your power to succeed, be the best version of yourself but sometimes things don’t flow the way you imagined. And that’s ok. 

I am beginning to see what they mean when they say “come from Love, not from fear.” It is not just to be applied towards human relationships, it is to be applied to all things and above all to ourselves. I was afraid of the person I was, the little child-hippie who used to light twigs on fire just enough so they would lightly burn and I could pretend the smoke was magic coming from my wand. The chick who wore hilarious clothing and died her hair all colours before it was #trending. The person who believes in magic, who believes in living free, who feels like the ocean “gets her.” I was afraid of her, because my outside environment was contradicting those parts of my being. So I found Vancouver and moved there to “be” her. And I did. I was her and I was her fully! And I learned to love her. I learned to love myself. 

So, in the moments I look back and my ego and fear try to convince me I failed, I remind myself that maybe my ego and fear didn’t know why I came here in the first place. Maybe it was not to “make it.” Maybe it was not to be an ocean-worshipping-sun-goddess-hippie chick. Maybe I came here to learn to love myself and to learn that self-love expands far beyond any city or physical environment. Maybe I came here to get something that can be taken with me wherever I go. Maybe I came here to learn that while I may know what I want, I may not know what I need. And that my soul will take me to the ends of the earth until it gets what it needs. And maybe once it gets it, it will lead me right back home. 

XO Jess

This is dedicated to my parents and brother. Marianne, Amie and Madi. Home is where you are. Thank you for answering all of my phone calls. See ya soon playas. 

come inside
let me taste

turn to liquid
escape this place

coconut milk
mango juice

experience the flavours

me + you

slipping
gripping
let it go

unlocked hinge
let it flow

come inside
let me taste

the fruity flesh
which we are made

warm lava
pineapple fruit

me + you

Ballet + Butterflies

Some afternoons
I melt into colors

I became purple once
only to learn what a beautiful color it is

But I’ve been all sorts of things

the painter
the poet
the lover
the enemy
the God
the fear
the fighter

I always liked to play pretend
dress up

this world
this life

…my stage

Fluttering + Spinning about.

I used to flutter like a butterfly
…on cocaine

like a ballerina
…parched from a desert storm

Now I flutter + spin
but simply
as the butterfly
as the ballerina

Balance

channeling
the fine thread
of gravity
within

Where chaos used to dangle
birthing a storm inside me,
the silk threads of my dance slippers hang
being gracefully caught in the breeze

Where I used to fall in the storm
The wind now gently sweeps me off my feet

For I am learning

Chaos
is just Freedom
set to fire

I am still the butterfly
Always the butterfly
But this time round
My wings don’t burn

In daylight
I dance with sunrays
In night-skies
I dance in moonbeams

And I rest
on the ashes
of all of my cocoons

For what the flames caught,
For who the flames caught
I have no regrets

The spinning
the fire
My Evolution

What “was”
to what “is”

Chaos to Balance

Now, my stage
could be minimized
to the point of a sewing needle

And I would walk upon it,
no,
I would dance upon it
as a finely trained tightrope master

Sure,
I may fall off

But I know
I have it in me
to pull myself up
to pray to the heavens
to lift me

I know
the angels will use the needle
and silk thread of my ballet slippers
to sow together a pair of wings
from ashes of my cocoons
I once rested upon

They will gently pierce me
weaving the wings
into the skin of my back

and the gentle breeze
who once whisked me away
will whisper in my ear
“everything is ok”
“chaos is just Freedom set to Fire”
“and you my love cannot be burned
for you have learned
to Dance amongst the Flames”

Vessel

Jess02092013_072

There was a delicacy
in the way she lived

She was but an orchid
touched by rain
and by sun, nearly too much

A single leaf from the tree
fallen gently upon an ocean wave
With which she would ride,
putting her life softly in it’s hands

There was a courage
in her movement
But none too much

For she knew
She was not the creator
of her movement
but rather, the vessel
through which it’s grace could dance

There were days
the waves made her stomach weak
and others
made her senses tingle

She felt the glitter
living inside of her,
for her light not only shone
..it Sparkled
Hoping to catch
another’s gaze by surprise

There was a tender curiosity
nurtured by her youth
But one she hoped she would carry
until her body laid to rest

There was a door to her heart
which she unlocked long ago,
then threw the key
to the depths of the ocean floor

But after one too many stormy days
she swam to the floor of the deep blue sea
looking for the key
to lock up the door once more

but the key had grown nubby with barnacles,
Starfish had built their homes upon it
For they felt she would come back one day
Looking to lock herself up
And they knew better than her,
this surely wasn’t her true desire

For her heart had been breathing
the free open air for so long
It surely wouldn’t know what to do
with the heaviness that comes
with hiding oneself away

So, to the surface of the water
She Rose Again
And rather than rushing to shore
She laid upon the waves
Breathed deeply
And felt them tickle her back
Gently caressing her
in a way no other being could

And this was where she felt whole again
being one with the vast expanse
feeling so small
and yet so vital

an organ
a vessel

she was not the blood
she was not the sea
she was the space between
where all things moved free

Hold Space

when you find yourself

and you learn to love her

others will come

to See the light you’ve worked so hard to find

 

they will come

and they will leech.

 

When they feel empty,

they will blame you

 

you’ve played the chasing game

but theirs has just begun

 

so please, tell me now

that you will take a step back

take an objective stance

and see that when they hurt you

it is only because they hurt inside

 

do not forfeit your joy

and certainly do not forfeit your light.

For their hungry hearts will grow tired

of your unwillingness to give It up

 

do not allow others’ pain to shape your joy

do not allow their emptiness to drain your fulfillment

do not give up the person you have worked so hard to become

 

because there will be days it will appear easier

to be one with the game they’re all playing

feeding one another’s egos

so they too may be fed

 

but no one’s got no one’s back

..unless it entails keeping a gun behind it..

trigger loaded

 

and when it’s pulled we all react so well

Stop

Drop

Roll

We’re so good at asking questions

after the fact

 

‘Cause we are all so fucking busy playing dumb

wondering why the gun was loaded,

why was the trigger pulled?

 

cause everyone’s hurting

but we ignore the pain

everyone’s living in vain

or hiding in shame

 

.Now, if we’d all take a moment.

 

A moment of silence in remembrance

not just of the forgotten ones,

But Who We Were when it all began

 

Because it’s not that we don’t know,

Not that we can’t heal,

but years of distraction can convince one of anything

 

That: the emptiness is real

the pain is the truth

disparity is our state

 

So God, take me back

to the moment we fell from Grace

 

Show me purity of soul

Show me Love’s true essence

Remind me of Life’s true Blessing

 

Because through you, we live on

And through us, you the same

 

God grant me patience

To be understanding

of where we all reside within ourselves,

in the time we reside there

 

Grant me your eyes,

to See the greatest parts of the hurting souls

Not so that I may excuse their behavior,

but so that I may maintain a level of Hope

in Who They Are beneath the pain

 

Allow me to hold space for others,

so that when I lie on the other side of the line,

When I lie on the side of darkness,

I know that someone will hold space for me

Someone who too has asked for your patience

has asked for Your understanding

has asked for Your eyes

So that they may see the greatest parts of me, in my hurt

Not so that they may excuse my behavior,

but so they may maintain a level of Hope

in the person I Am beneath my pain.

Create Your Own Systems

Written to the sounds of Flower by Willow Smith: 

Have you ever taken a moment, to step out and back and see what systems you are a part of?

We are unconsciously taking part in many systematic processes without even realizing, some to our advantage and some to our detriment. When I started becoming more spiritually in tuned and aware I began to see ways in which I felt “chained” and “caged” by sources outside of myself.

Now, please know ahead of time this is not about to be some anti-EVERYTHING article in which I say “fuck the system” and convince you that we should all run around fighting every rule we have been taught, for the simple sake of being rebellious. I am a firm NON-BELIEVER in doing something just for the sake of doing it..or to appear like a “super interesting outcast”..that is not my aim here. I AM a firm believer though, in asking questions, firstly to ourselves and when necessary, others. Questioning is the basis of understanding in my world. Sometimes to a fault, I want to know the “WHY” to everything. But for the most part this trait has served me greatly.

Anyways, when I started becoming more aware of who I wanted to be, I realized that there were beliefs and ideas that were holding me back from becoming this person. That is when I started questioning and recognized that many of my beliefs and ideas came from a learned place, where I was taught “how things are,” “how things SHOULD be,” etc. Many of our responses are learned.. from government, teachers, religion, family, friends, etc. When we step back we can see that few of our beliefs have been formulated on our own, based purely on our essence and individuality. We are trained by systems to be who we are and act and respond the way we do.

Once we have the awareness that systems exist everywhere, the next level of awareness is recognizing that systems in society are entirely MANMADE. God/Source/Creator did not create religion or write scriptures..man did. The Universe did not create government..man did. Or even language..man created this to communicate. Technically there are no rules in this Life. Like I said, this does not mean I believe in running around like a chaotic idiot. This simply means, when a religious belief doesn’t align with you or you feel like you “don’t fit in”..you are allowed to create your own path to avoid this. Some people fear human’s infinite nature and ability to think/believe/accomplish anything they feel. These are the people who create systems out of the desire for control. {Fear+Power=Control.} I am not saying all systems are negative. In fact, there are some that work beautifully..like trading or karmic systems (favour for favour). The key is that any worthwhile system should benefit all involved, a symbiotic relationship of sorts. And it should definitely allow room for questioning..which ultimately leads to choice. No choice=fear, control and suffering. Now, the beauty of systems being human-made is that we are humans! crazy right!? who would’ve thought..but ya, this means WE too can create systems that work with Who We Are.

Now when I am out and about..existing in society..I ask myself these questions to be sure I am consciously following systems that only agree with My Truth:

1) Is my response coming from fear or a “sheep” mentality? Or is it coming from an integral place that is true **to myself** and rooted in Love?

2) Am I taking part in systems that are conducive to my personal Joy and wellbeing and ultimately humankind’s Joy and wellbeing?

-Use what aligns with you, work with what you feel you must and create to fill the gaps.

To close: In my personal opinion (which by the way, you are welcome to disagree with) I believe we should see boundaries, rules, regulations, definitions, systems and always remember there is an entire world outside of these things. So if something doesn’t work for you or align with the Truest form of yourself, feel Free to explore the beautiful, infinite world of possibilities..and if you get lost, you can always come home 🙂

xoxo Jess

2015

Written to the sounds of Mick Jenkins “Canada Dry” and “Healer”:

Jess,

You do not need to “remedy” yourself. See any growth from this day forward as building upon a solid foundation, rather than filling a void within yourself. Be gentle.

Forgive your “weaknesses” and be sure that these are “weaknesses” by your choice and not someone else’s.

Feed your strengths. Work the system around them..yes, this is a possibility. In fact, this is what all successful people have done.

Embrace your eccentricities.

Nurture tenderness in yourself and everyone around you.

Judge no one. Be empathetic towards those who judge you. There is a place within everyone that hurts at times and many people act from this place regularly..this has nothing to do with you. Rebound anyone’s pain with Love. Love always provides a mirror. You cannot change others but you can inspire. For yourself and those around you, always act from Love.

Hold your visions close to you. When you share them, know that they will be questioned..consider this strength training.

Stay close to anything that allows you to see yourself more clearly.

Keep going to the ocean at night. You feel at home because You are made of water and stars.

If you wanna be a rapper, rap. If you wanna be a boxer, box. If you wanna be a writer, write. There are no terms and conditions to these terms ..it’s some Nike shit, Just Do It.

Be Free and stay grounded

Remember that any Great artists/athletes/people you have studied can only be seen by you as “Great” because you see the potential within yourself to be Great. Always feed your potential.

Continue shattering the illusion of barriers until the day comes that We realize there are no such things.

Gratitude. Always be Grateful.

Above all..Enjoy the ride.

Love, Jess