- Accept what comes to you for what it is, not what you “want” (expect) it to be. For me, this generally equates to dudes & musical opportunities / relationships. When I sense a decent dude or musical opportunity, I look at it with a hazey, dreamy outlook. Now, this would be ok if I was loving these things for exactly what they are, exactly in the moment. But placing a “dreamy” outlook on something that hasn’t happened yet = a dream…aka not reality. Keep people + things in your life that give you that tingling delicious feeling, exactly as they are..here and now.
- Be gentle with the people who love you most. This is something I learned when I went home for Christmas and had my family tell me to go home because I was being such a bitch..lol..but not lol. I can be disrespectful towards my family because I know they’ll never leave my side. And this is not right. I have taken them for granted, but not in an obvious way. I didn’t suck my family’s money, I didn’t use them for things, but I used their energy. I was selfish with my pain. There are things that hurt me and I chose for years not to forgive my family. I thought this would keep me on top. But instead it kept me defensive and left me defenceless in the end. The evening of Christmas (lol..but again not lol), as I was crying and screaming at my brother, he said to me “do you blame God when it feels like your life is going wrong?” “No,” I said. Then he said one of the most life changing things I have heard, “well you have to treat everyone that way, you cannot blame people for your pain” “you have to love people the way you love God, because they are all a piece of that.” This is the moment I learned true forgiveness. Not just saying some words and hoping a superficial weight will be lifted off of me. Forgiveness where I remembered what real love is. Real love is leaving space for people to be human. Real love is recognizing you are going to feel hurt by people, but knowing that was never their intention.
- Send love to what hurts you. I also learned this recently and am making an effort at it. I remembered growing up learning not “to hate people” ..but I didn’t ever make the effort to love them. And I don’t mean to imply that I love everyone in the same way, I don’t. But I am making an effort to love everyone..simply for the fact that we are human and in this together.