Ballet + Butterflies

by jesssmithwriting

Some afternoons
I melt into colors

I became purple once
only to learn what a beautiful color it is

But I’ve been all sorts of things

the painter
the poet
the lover
the enemy
the God
the fear
the fighter

I always liked to play pretend
dress up

this world
this life

…my stage

Fluttering + Spinning about.

I used to flutter like a butterfly
…on cocaine

like a ballerina
…parched from a desert storm

Now I flutter + spin
but simply
as the butterfly
as the ballerina

Balance

channeling
the fine thread
of gravity
within

Where chaos used to dangle
birthing a storm inside me,
the silk threads of my dance slippers hang
being gracefully caught in the breeze

Where I used to fall in the storm
The wind now gently sweeps me off my feet

For I am learning

Chaos
is just Freedom
set to fire

I am still the butterfly
Always the butterfly
But this time round
My wings don’t burn

In daylight
I dance with sunrays
In night-skies
I dance in moonbeams

And I rest
on the ashes
of all of my cocoons

For what the flames caught,
For who the flames caught
I have no regrets

The spinning
the fire
My Evolution

What “was”
to what “is”

Chaos to Balance

Now, my stage
could be minimized
to the point of a sewing needle

And I would walk upon it,
no,
I would dance upon it
as a finely trained tightrope master

Sure,
I may fall off

But I know
I have it in me
to pull myself up
to pray to the heavens
to lift me

I know
the angels will use the needle
and silk thread of my ballet slippers
to sow together a pair of wings
from ashes of my cocoons
I once rested upon

They will gently pierce me
weaving the wings
into the skin of my back

and the gentle breeze
who once whisked me away
will whisper in my ear
“everything is ok”
“chaos is just Freedom set to Fire”
“and you my love cannot be burned
for you have learned
to Dance amongst the Flames”

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