Hold Space

when you find yourself

and you learn to love her

others will come

to See the light you’ve worked so hard to find

 

they will come

and they will leech.

 

When they feel empty,

they will blame you

 

you’ve played the chasing game

but theirs has just begun

 

so please, tell me now

that you will take a step back

take an objective stance

and see that when they hurt you

it is only because they hurt inside

 

do not forfeit your joy

and certainly do not forfeit your light.

For their hungry hearts will grow tired

of your unwillingness to give It up

 

do not allow others’ pain to shape your joy

do not allow their emptiness to drain your fulfillment

do not give up the person you have worked so hard to become

 

because there will be days it will appear easier

to be one with the game they’re all playing

feeding one another’s egos

so they too may be fed

 

but no one’s got no one’s back

..unless it entails keeping a gun behind it..

trigger loaded

 

and when it’s pulled we all react so well

Stop

Drop

Roll

We’re so good at asking questions

…

after the fact

 

‘Cause we are all so fucking busy playing dumb

wondering why the gun was loaded,

why was the trigger pulled?

 

cause everyone’s hurting

but we ignore the pain

everyone’s living in vain

or hiding in shame

 

.Now, if we’d all take a moment.

 

A moment of silence in remembrance

not just of the forgotten ones,

But Who We Were when it all began

 

Because it’s not that we don’t know,

Not that we can’t heal,

but years of distraction can convince one of anything

 

That: the emptiness is real

the pain is the truth

disparity is our state

 

So God, take me back

to the moment we fell from Grace

 

Show me purity of soul

Show me Love’s true essence

Remind me of Life’s true Blessing

 

Because through you, we live on

And through us, you the same

 

God grant me patience

To be understanding

of where we all reside within ourselves,

in the time we reside there

 

Grant me your eyes,

to See the greatest parts of the hurting souls

Not so that I may excuse their behavior,

but so that I may maintain a level of Hope

in Who They Are beneath the pain

 

Allow me to hold space for others,

so that when I lie on the other side of the line,

When I lie on the side of darkness,

I know that someone will hold space for me

Someone who too has asked for your patience

has asked for Your understanding

has asked for Your eyes

So that they may see the greatest parts of me, in my hurt

Not so that they may excuse my behavior,

but so they may maintain a level of Hope

in the person I Am beneath my pain.

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Create Your Own Systems

Written to the sounds of Flower by Willow Smith: 

Have you ever taken a moment, to step out and back and see what systems you are a part of?

We are unconsciously taking part in many systematic processes without even realizing, some to our advantage and some to our detriment. When I started becoming more spiritually in tuned and aware I began to see ways in which I felt “chained” and “caged” by sources outside of myself.

Now, please know ahead of time this is not about to be some anti-EVERYTHING article in which I say “fuck the system” and convince you that we should all run around fighting every rule we have been taught, for the simple sake of being rebellious. I am a firm NON-BELIEVER in doing something just for the sake of doing it..or to appear like a “super interesting outcast”..that is not my aim here. I AM a firm believer though, in asking questions, firstly to ourselves and when necessary, others. Questioning is the basis of understanding in my world. Sometimes to a fault, I want to know the “WHY” to everything. But for the most part this trait has served me greatly.

Anyways, when I started becoming more aware of who I wanted to be, I realized that there were beliefs and ideas that were holding me back from becoming this person. That is when I started questioning and recognized that many of my beliefs and ideas came from a learned place, where I was taught “how things are,” “how things SHOULD be,” etc. Many of our responses are learned.. from government, teachers, religion, family, friends, etc. When we step back we can see that few of our beliefs have been formulated on our own, based purely on our essence and individuality. We are trained by systems to be who we are and act and respond the way we do.

Once we have the awareness that systems exist everywhere, the next level of awareness is recognizing that systems in society are entirely MANMADE. God/Source/Creator did not create religion or write scriptures..man did. The Universe did not create government..man did. Or even language..man created this to communicate. Technically there are no rules in this Life. Like I said, this does not mean I believe in running around like a chaotic idiot. This simply means, when a religious belief doesn’t align with you or you feel like you “don’t fit in”..you are allowed to create your own path to avoid this. Some people fear human’s infinite nature and ability to think/believe/accomplish anything they feel. These are the people who create systems out of the desire for control. {Fear+Power=Control.} I am not saying all systems are negative. In fact, there are some that work beautifully..like trading or karmic systems (favour for favour). The key is that any worthwhile system should benefit all involved, a symbiotic relationship of sorts. And it should definitely allow room for questioning..which ultimately leads to choice. No choice=fear, control and suffering. Now, the beauty of systems being human-made is that we are humans! crazy right!? who would’ve thought..but ya, this means WE too can create systems that work with Who We Are.

Now when I am out and about..existing in society..I ask myself these questions to be sure I am consciously following systems that only agree with My Truth:

1) Is my response coming from fear or a “sheep” mentality? Or is it coming from an integral place that is true **to myself** and rooted in Love?

2) Am I taking part in systems that are conducive to my personal Joy and wellbeing and ultimately humankind’s Joy and wellbeing?

-Use what aligns with you, work with what you feel you must and create to fill the gaps.

To close: In my personal opinion (which by the way, you are welcome to disagree with) I believe we should see boundaries, rules, regulations, definitions, systems and always remember there is an entire world outside of these things. So if something doesn’t work for you or align with the Truest form of yourself, feel Free to explore the beautiful, infinite world of possibilities..and if you get lost, you can always come home 🙂

xoxo Jess

2015

Written to the sounds of Mick Jenkins “Canada Dry” and “Healer”:

Jess,

You do not need to “remedy” yourself. See any growth from this day forward as building upon a solid foundation, rather than filling a void within yourself. Be gentle.

Forgive your “weaknesses” and be sure that these are “weaknesses” by your choice and not someone else’s.

Feed your strengths. Work the system around them..yes, this is a possibility. In fact, this is what all successful people have done.

Embrace your eccentricities.

Nurture tenderness in yourself and everyone around you.

Judge no one. Be empathetic towards those who judge you. There is a place within everyone that hurts at times and many people act from this place regularly..this has nothing to do with you. Rebound anyone’s pain with Love. Love always provides a mirror. You cannot change others but you can inspire. For yourself and those around you, always act from Love.

Hold your visions close to you. When you share them, know that they will be questioned..consider this strength training.

Stay close to anything that allows you to see yourself more clearly.

Keep going to the ocean at night. You feel at home because You are made of water and stars.

If you wanna be a rapper, rap. If you wanna be a boxer, box. If you wanna be a writer, write. There are no terms and conditions to these terms ..it’s some Nike shit, Just Do It.

Be Free and stay grounded

Remember that any Great artists/athletes/people you have studied can only be seen by you as “Great” because you see the potential within yourself to be Great. Always feed your potential.

Continue shattering the illusion of barriers until the day comes that We realize there are no such things.

Gratitude. Always be Grateful.

Above all..Enjoy the ride.

Love, Jess