Defining Who You Are & Your Path: Leave Room for Where You Will Go

by jesssmithwriting

Once I began the process of questioning my path and considering whether or not a career in music is what I want, I had a life altering discovery. I realized that there is no need to concretely define Who We Are/what we do. In fact, in doing so we will be sadly disappointed if/when that person changes. We also have to be careful of defining Who We Are by “what we do” in general. We are NOT “what we do.” Who We Are is manifested through our actions, but we ourselves are not WHAT WE DO. I believe that if we understand this we will be less afraid of changing our paths. In attaching our identity to “what we do,” we build barriers for ourselves. The moment we attach our identity to anything we stop “the FLOW.” We stop the process of evolution. In calling myself a “musician,” I do not allow room for anyone to think anything else of me. And I do not allow room to think anything else of MYSELF.

So when I hit a wall, like I recently did and began questioning myself and where I wanted to take my life, I became deeply afraid. I felt like I was losing my identity. All my life I called myself a “musician,” and now I was possibly losing that. I felt/feel conflicted because there are so many things I am passionate about. Writing, for example, I am deeply passionate about writing. So in calling myself a “musician,” I did not allow room to also consider myself a “writer.” When in fact, right now I spend more of my time writing than I do playing music.

We live in a world where we define ourselves and others by careers, relationships, etc. We are not these things though. Our attachment to these things is exactly what causes us pain. The moment we lose a job or breakup with someone we feel panic. This panic is rooted in the loss of our identity. This is why I believe we should not “define” ourselves at all. We live in a world where we need something to grasp onto because it makes us feel safe, but I have experienced firsthand the peace in not being attached to ANYTHING. I have reached a point in my life where I feel so comfortable and happy on my own. Honestly, I used to be desperate to love someone and have someone love me. I was so scared of being alone. It has taken a lot of personal development and “soul searching” (for lack of a better term) to come to peace with Who I Am and to LOVE that person. Now that I do love myself, I feel invincible in a sense. There is an African proverb that says “when there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm” and this could not be more true.

In loving ourselves, we become invincible. But the key is loving ourselves WITHOUT CONDITIONS. In being unattached to Who We Are/what we do and unconditionally loving ourselves, no matter where we decide to go, we allow Who We Are to evolve. We reach new heights and go places we never imagined possible.


(See attached video. Woodkid on his career and transformation.)