jesssmithwriting

Devote yourself to your purpose and you will cultivate the life you desire.

Month: April, 2014

The Birds and Bees (a lurrrve poem to no one!)

I am the sound of harmonics

on a hollow bodied guitar

 

I am the sweet smell of rain,

freshly fallen on a flower bed of lilies

 

I am warm mud

oozing through your fingertips

giving life to the worms, to the birds,

birds giving flight to the sky

 

I am the bass of a sweaty hip hop club

making your heart beat

deeper than it has before

 

I am the dark pockets in the ocean

you don’t know what’s there…

but you’ll jump anyways

 

I am the hook you can’t get out of your head.

 

And you…

You are red licorice..and bubblegum…

and hot lips..and cinnamon hearts!

spicy, but still sooo sweet

 

You are my favourite pop song

3 minutes and 30 seconds of perfection

that fills me just enough

yet I can’t help but play you on repeat

 

You are my favourite pair of old, worn in jeans

that I won’t ever be able to throw away

 

You are the adrenaline of jumping from heights

you make me afraid…

but I will jump anyways

 

You are the hook I can’t get out of my head.

 

So let’s run run away together

until our legs and bones ache

because our hearts no longer will

 

I want to be your free fall

And you be mine

 

I want to be your ocean shore

calling you into me

 

And we will Love deeply.

 

I want to kiss you when you cry

Have your tears land softly on my lips

And I will take them as my own

As long as I know you will not have to hurt

 

I will be a dim light,

never too bright,

to remind you in the dark

that you are not alone

 

And you,

you will do the same

Not out of need,

but desire

 

We will love freely!

 

Because I make you fly

And you make me drip like honey

It’s just you and me,

the birds and the bees

Tell Me I Can’t..Creating “My Own Movement”

In the Woodkid video I attached in the previous post he says a couple things that got through to me: 1) “Curiosity is about filling the gaps that you have inside of you.” and 2) “Create your own movement.” 

There have been times when I have told people my goals and they respond with some sort of warning, as if to save me from inevitable defeat. I have learnt to be very careful about who I share my aspirations with, and no one really knows the depth of them. I have found there is a balance between being able to verbalize goals and keeping them to myself for “safety’s” sake. 

As I have gone through life I have learned there are people who are going to “talk you down” no matter what you tell them you want to achieve. The first thing I do when someone starts talking down my goals is, look at their life. How do they seem to feel about their own circumstances? Do they complain about work/life regularly? Do they have any dreams besides plainly existing? My guess is they are quite unhappy with where they are at. People have a tendency to project their own “shit” onto others in the hopes of putting themselves just a bit “above.” And I have fallen into believing these people, taking their word. Only to then a few days, weeks, months down the road, look back at our conversation and wonder why I ever listened to them in the first place. 

I 100% believe that a huge part of achieving “success” is by surrounding ourselves with people who have a similar idea of success. Surround yourself with people who stir something up inside of you, in a positive way. Surround yourself with people who intimidate and even threaten you due to everything they have achieved (because the minute someone threatens you, without having made any sort of attack on you, it is due to an insecurity inside of yourself). Deal with your insecurities by putting yourself directly in circumstances that make you feel afraid. There is a difference between people who threaten your dreams because they talk you down and people who threaten you because they have achieved/are in the process of achieving what you want to. Surround yourself with the latter. 

We are only able to take our lives where we can take our minds. How are you supposed to go somewhere, be it physically, mentally, spiritually, that you do not believe could potentially exist? Create an environment for yourself in which curiosity is nurtured. We were given curiosity, a desire to explore, so that we may see/learn that greater and bigger things DO exist. I want to write a book one day, I want to speak to people in large volumes..I have only told a few people these things and I have had both ideas shot down. I was told, “just choose one thing.” And to those people I say, thanks but no thanks. I will not allow my life to be a smaller version than I want because I took the advice of someone who had no dreams of their own.

Nurture your curiosity. Fill the gaps inside of you through the process of discovery. Never get too comfortable. Take risks. Push the limits. CREATE YOUR OWN MOVEMENT. Just because no one has done what you want to do, does not make it impossible, it simply means no one has thought about things the way you have. 

Defining Who You Are & Your Path: Leave Room for Where You Will Go

Once I began the process of questioning my path and considering whether or not a career in music is what I want, I had a life altering discovery. I realized that there is no need to concretely define Who We Are/what we do. In fact, in doing so we will be sadly disappointed if/when that person changes. We also have to be careful of defining Who We Are by “what we do” in general. We are NOT “what we do.” Who We Are is manifested through our actions, but we ourselves are not WHAT WE DO. I believe that if we understand this we will be less afraid of changing our paths. In attaching our identity to “what we do,” we build barriers for ourselves. The moment we attach our identity to anything we stop “the FLOW.” We stop the process of evolution. In calling myself a “musician,” I do not allow room for anyone to think anything else of me. And I do not allow room to think anything else of MYSELF.

So when I hit a wall, like I recently did and began questioning myself and where I wanted to take my life, I became deeply afraid. I felt like I was losing my identity. All my life I called myself a “musician,” and now I was possibly losing that. I felt/feel conflicted because there are so many things I am passionate about. Writing, for example, I am deeply passionate about writing. So in calling myself a “musician,” I did not allow room to also consider myself a “writer.” When in fact, right now I spend more of my time writing than I do playing music.

We live in a world where we define ourselves and others by careers, relationships, etc. We are not these things though. Our attachment to these things is exactly what causes us pain. The moment we lose a job or breakup with someone we feel panic. This panic is rooted in the loss of our identity. This is why I believe we should not “define” ourselves at all. We live in a world where we need something to grasp onto because it makes us feel safe, but I have experienced firsthand the peace in not being attached to ANYTHING. I have reached a point in my life where I feel so comfortable and happy on my own. Honestly, I used to be desperate to love someone and have someone love me. I was so scared of being alone. It has taken a lot of personal development and “soul searching” (for lack of a better term) to come to peace with Who I Am and to LOVE that person. Now that I do love myself, I feel invincible in a sense. There is an African proverb that says “when there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm” and this could not be more true.

In loving ourselves, we become invincible. But the key is loving ourselves WITHOUT CONDITIONS. In being unattached to Who We Are/what we do and unconditionally loving ourselves, no matter where we decide to go, we allow Who We Are to evolve. We reach new heights and go places we never imagined possible.

 

(See attached video. Woodkid on his career and transformation.)

My Path: The Questioning and It’s Beauty

Part One: The Questioning
There are days I am absolutely sure of “where I am going”, days I don’t for a moment question my path. Then there are days where I wake up very unsure of myself.

Singing/performing music has always been my retreat from the world..my beautiful escapism. When they say “music is my drug” it comes off cliche, but it truly is my drug. I go somewhere outside of this planet, some place where I get to exist in my most raw and vulnerable form. A place where people’s perceptions of me are irrelevant and more importantly my perception of myself is irrelevant.

I always believed that because this was what I was most passionate about, in order to be happy in life I HAD to pursue music as a career. This is now something I question regularly. And THIS is my deepest secret. I always judged people who questioned their art. I thought that meant they didn’t care enough, didn’t love it enough. So now, karma is coming full circle as I question my career and critically judge myself.

I have come to learn that it is not so much my ART that I question, but the industry I have to enter if I choose to make a career out of my art. There is so much about the music industry and “show business” that honestly disgusts me. Show business is not about art, show business is about MONEY. And I am NOT about money. I innocently (and accidentally) fell into this with honest intentions, to make art and share it with the world. I did not realize the business side of what I was entering into when I made the choice to pursue this dream. The show industry is built upon ideals that in NO way, shape or form align with Who I Am.

People ask me “Jessica, why don’t you go on one of those singing shows? Go on Canadian Idol or something?” And I always respect that those asking this want the best for me, so I respond with something along the lines of “oh that’s not really my thing, pop music.” What I am truly thinking is “that is the nearest thing to selling my soul.” While I have much respect for the talented contenders of these shows, I see what a twisted scheme the whole thing is. I watch a young, innocent, talented kid enter a competition to achieve their dreams and come out a generic PRODUCT. They choose their most suitable/marketable bubble for each contender and SELL. What some people don’t realize is that once you win a competition like this, there are contracts that bind you. When some labels sign you, they assume the right to “OWN” you. There are countless stories I have heard/read about where artists lose rights to their music, where they are told what they can and cannot do, and what kind of art they can and cannot create. When people are desperate to achieve their dreams they don’t pay attention the rights they are possibly signing away. THESE are the reasons I question what I am doing.

MUSIC I love, with all of my heart. It has saved me over and over. The music industry on the other hand, is so far removed from reality, in the worst possible way. And I am afraid of it. I am afraid of having to become something I am not. The reality is, I will NEVER become someone else’s product. I will never allow someone to tell me who I can or cannot be. I will NOT pretend. I have spent so much time and energy discovering Who I Am and learning to love that person, and to lose that now would be detrimental.

I have never shared this with anyone, and I am afraid to. I want to be the girl who “always wanted this” and “always will want this,” but I am not sure right now. I am not sure if I am willing to be a part of an industry in which it’s ideals do not align with Who I Am and what I value.

Part 2: The Beauty in the Questioning
At first it scared and threatened me to be questioning the one thing in my life I was so sure of. It felt unstable. This was always my “thing” I could fall back on, when nothing else felt guaranteed. So I panicked, obviously, in true Jessica style. Do not think, do not breathe, just panic… After doing this for a little while and recognizing that I was solving nothing, I took a deep breath and told myself I needed to look at what I was scared of, what I was questioning. That is when I learned what I discussed above, that I was not questioning the art itself, but rather the industry. This was a relief because it meant I never undervalued my work and what I was creating. Where the beauty lies is that had I never questioned any of this, I may have blindly entered into a career/life that goes against so many of my beliefs. Now I at least have the foresight to be prepared and have built a shield to protect myself from anyone/anything that may try to mould me into THEIR idea of what is “right.”

I read an article written by a man named Ryan Coleman, in which he discussed the positives in questioning ourselves and he said “questions structure and guide your thinking.” If we do not question, than we are likely floating, oblivious to our reasoning for our actions. Now, post-questioning, if I decide to continue pursuing music as my career, I know that it has been a very conscious and well informed decision. I also know that I have now created a safety “moat” around me, keeping out people who do not align with my beliefs, no matter what business venture I take part in.

It is through questioning that we discover the importance of things in our lives. If we do not take the time to discern, then we are unaware. Pursuing something mindlessly, having never looking at the other possibilities keeps you in a bubble. And while that bubble may be safe, who knows what you might be missing out on. Now, on the other hand, if we take time to question the things we love (careers, relationships, etc.), there are two options: A. We release whatever it is we are questioning, because we realize it no longer serves us. OR B. We question and come back with full force, stronger than before, because we NOW know how important it is to have that “thing” in our life. There is absolutely nothing lost either way, and that is the beautiful part.

You Are the Light

I am unfinished business,
but perfect as I am.
My imperfections lay stagnant,
perfect as they are,
until the day they no longer serve me

I am cracked,
but never ever broken
Glass stained,
but beautifully with colour

In the same time the pieces “fall apart”
They all come together

There’s a picture
Beyond my control
That I long to see,
sooner than I am allowed

I am not God,
but there I days I crave to be
Pretend to have all of the answers,
but know that I do not

I have come to find Peace in this madness
Happiness in the chaos

Whoever said madness and chaos were the problem?
Man did
And this is the source of all man’s suffering

Beneath the chaos lies the truth.

I feared lack of control
But could only hold so tight

I can only see so far
And hindsight 20/20
has always served me well

As the pieces fall apart
They always come together

I am learning
I work hard
And I falter, day in, day out

But I am learning to be gentle with my soul
It only knows what it sees

But seeing is not believing.

I have grown
Not because I have the full picture now,
but because I no longer need the full picture

I walk blindly
Knowing He holds my hand
Taking me higher and higher

Pain will not bring me down
Hurt will not bring me down
Nothing will take me down

I will only be lifted higher

I will not suffer
Because I have chosen to no longer suffer

And yes, there will be moments
When I will fall back into suffering,
but I will release those moments when I am ready

I will repeat old patterns
Until they are no longer justified

Yes, I am afraid
Afraid to let go
I am human
No different than the rest

But I will never let fear control me

Fear lives where love belongs.

So fill the spaces in your life with love

Do not view those spaces as holes,
voids that need filling with immediate pleasure

Immediate pleasures only last so long
And when they leave they take a little more of you with them

So, as I said
Fill the spaces in your soul, in your life,
with love

Start with loving yourself,
Nothing good comes from a worn out soul

Pleasure should never be provided through your pain
Happiness should not be provided at your expense
Please know you are worth more than that

When you are happy with yourself
You emanate peace

The world absorbs your light
Without you losing any

Nothing good ever comes from a worn out soul.

So, feed your heart
Live and learn passionately
Feeding your soul is the path to enlightenment

The madness is just a dance,
Nothing more than a game of hide and seek

In the moments you feel lost
Remember you have everything within you to be found

In the darkness
There is a light
You are it
Yes, You are the Light.

Devote yourself…

Devote yourself to your purpose and you will cultivate the life you desire.

-JS

Concept Entry: Marriage

Our society today has become obsessed with taking note that 50% of marriages end in divorce. They blame marriage. What they fail to acknowledge is that marriage is not the issue, 2 human beings are the issue. Now I have never been married, I don’t claim to know anything about marriage or it’s challenges, but I have been in relationships. Marriages are essentially relationships with a legal contract binding the 2 people together for a long time.

My opinion is that perhaps marriages wouldn’t fail if we went into them with different intentions. As young women growing up we are taught to find a man “who can/will provide for us,” and young men grow up learning that they “need to provide for women.” And we are taught that this is what makes us loveable. The women being provided for are the loveable women. And the men providing are the loveable men. This is the very reason marriages/relationships DO NOT last. Society/WE have placed these expectations on one another. If every human being went into a relationship solely providing for themselves first (and maintaining this mentality throughout the entire duration of the relationship), I would be willing to bet my life on that 50% decreasing enormously.

And if 2 people come together in marriage and grow apart, who are we to judge that? Do I hope to one day meet someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with? Yes. Do I hope to meet someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with me? Yes. But I never plan on saying the words “until death do us part.” That sounds absolutely horrifying to me, like a jail sentence, a set up that will only develop a complacent attitude.

If I am staying by someone’s side and they are staying by mine, it will be out of the DESIRE to do so. If the moment ever comes that a legal contract or having my needs met are the only reasons I am in a relationship with someone, that is the moment I will likely get out of that contract and relationship.

If two people come together, not out of NEEDING one another, but because they truly WANT to dedicate their love to one human being for the rest of their lives, I cannot think of anything more beautiful.

In Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet-On Marriage” he wrote:

“Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

Journal Entry: Wake Up Call

(Written January 2014)
So I have decided to wake up this week…

On Monday I got high and dreamt that I died. It was terrifying. I dreamt I died with unfinished business. I died after having spent my life chasing all of the “wrong” things. (And by “wrong” I mean things that can be taken away. External things.) I had become a drug addict, obsessed with the idea of “success” and wealth and fame. My addiction didn’t prohibit me from reaching my idea of “success.” It was my way of dealing with it. It calmed me.

Then I woke up the next morning (in real life) and (thank God) realized I did not die. I was not a drug addict. I was me, just a semi-stoned version. I also realized that the night before I had been watching Wolf on Wall Street with Leonardo Di Caprio and believed that I had become him. (Hence the reason I have chosen to stop smoking weed for a good while, too intense for my vulnerable brain.) This was a wake up call for me though. A couple days later I realized I was no different than Di Caprio’s character. No, I was not actually Leonardo Di Caprio. No, I was not a serious drug addict. But I realized all of the parallels in my life and his character’s.

I have a spent good portion of my life “chasing” and “validating” myself through THINGS. Using external sources to calm myself. If I have those shoes and that shirt and that bag….THEN I will be happy. Once I become a “famous” musician, THEN I will be happy. If I smoke weed, THEN I will calm down and be able to sleep. Or if I get high I will feel “enlightened” and THEN I will make more sense to myself. And the most recent and painful of them all, if I am dating someone and they love me, THEN I will be happy. Others loving me means I am loveable.

The harsh AND beautiful reality of it all is that none of these things are going to make me happy, calm or loveable. Because ultimately the moment any of these external sources are removed from my life, is the moment I will/do start to panic. I have gotten to a place where I am terrified to JUST BE. Alone. Silent. Because that would require facing myself. And that would require loving myself. This is truly the most terrifying concept I have ever had to face.

It is no wonder we as human beings have become so affected by media, social conditioning, and society’s ideas of how we “should” be doing things. It is a sick cycle where we look outside of ourselves for guidance because we haven’t taken the time to look inside. We haven’t taken the time to look inside of ourselves to see/believe what resonates with who we truly are. And due to the fact that we haven’t taken time to do this, we are a sponge, ready and willing to soak up whatever we are told. It’s no wonder we are running around paranoid. We are absorbing whatever message is thrown at us, rather than taking a moment to discern whether or not it aligns with Who We Are. And then because we are believing whatever we are told, we don’t take the time to look inside. We believe that external sources are the path to happiness. The cycle feeds itself: Look outside for the answers to happiness. Get “the answers” from media, society, friends, family (anywhere besides ourselves). Convince ourselves to believe “the answers,” even if they don’t align with Who We Are. And then wonder why we aren’t happy.

The media is teaching us that success equates to fame and material wealth. It is not teaching us that success is much simpler, it is internal HAPPINESS.

Society tells us what is “normal” but who the fuck is any human being to say what “normal” is? I am not here to define “normal,” and quite frankly I don’t care what it is. Because that is where human’s pain comes from, the idea that there is a mould and we don’t fit. And the man making the mould will be in just as much pain as the man trying to fit the mould, because the moment that man grows/changes, his world will be turned upside down when he doesn’t fit his own mould anymore.

Then there is the concept of me getting high to understand myself. Perhaps the most ironic of them all. The idea that I need to alter my mind in order to trust what I feel. If I need to alter my state of mind to find myself tolerable, there might be an issue. Now this is not my portion of the article where I go all “anti-drug,” because that would defy everything I am saying. I am no one to say what is right or wrong. I don’t care what anyone else does (as long as it isn’t harming themselves or another being). If getting high works for some people, then smoke on (or shoot up, if you’re from my downtown east side Vancouver neighbourhood). The reality for me is I scared the shit out of myself this week and caused paranoia that I am still dealing with 3 days later. That is something I am completely uninterested in. I have to accept that I have what I need within myself to be calm, understanding, and accepting of Who I Am and of Life.

Last, but certainly not least, what has been plaguing most of my life is the idea that I am only loveable if others love me. I have spent my energy focusing on everyone else’s opinion of me, since I was a teenager. We are born perfect. As we age and grow, we slowly, over time, are exposed to the world. We are taught what is “right” and “wrong” by parents, family, friends, and teachers. We are exposed to love. We are exposed to hate and insecurity. The moments we are exposed to or taught something new (that we don’t understand, due to lack of experience), are the very moments that we begin conditioning ourselves. These are the moments we are moulded and shaped.

When we are children our closest influences are our parents and teachers. They are the first people to teach us what is “right” and what is “wrong.” They love us and want the best for us. What we don’t understand at a young age though, is that these people want what THEY believe is best for us. In time, we come to learn that this may not always be the same as what WE believe is best for us. And these are the very moments in which we start convincing ourselves there is something wrong with us. As children, I feel there is nothing we want more than for our parents (or anyone we look up to) to accept everything about Who We Are. The reality is no one is going to like EVERYTHING about us. That is what makes us human, our differences. And as cliche as it may sound, I truly believe these differences are what make us beautiful. What is key to understand throughout this process of aging and becoming individual entities from our parents, etcetera, is that they have taught us everything they know, therefore; they truly come from love. When we step outside of what they agree with and it causes conflict, we become afraid. We have to understand that conflict generally comes from a lack of understanding. These moments of conflict are when we are given the option to define Who We Are, separate from anyone else’s beliefs of who we “should” be. And these moments are presented to us on a daily basis, not just with parents, family, and friends, but with EVERY human being we encounter. Strangers, co-workers, lovers, every human being we meet provides us an opportunity to define Who We Are.

If you are like me, when presented with the opportunity to define Who I Am, I also hope that everyone will LIKE/ACCEPT who I am. What I have come to learn is, that is not the way life works. It’s not sad, it’s not frustrating (if you don’t allow it to be), it just is. Human beings are all way too different for this to even be a possibility. Remember, the very things that make us different are also the things that make us beautiful, so we can’t be hurt when someone who is simply DIFFERENT than us doesn’t “like” Who We Are. Our pain does not come from the fact that people do not agree with Who We Are, our pain comes from the idea/expectation that everyone “should” agree with Who We Are. If we can let go of this belief, we will in turn release our pain.

As tired and worn out as the cliche “you can’t love anyone until you love yourself” is, in my opinion, it is absolutely true. I believe it is slightly more complex than this though. Sure, we can love someone without loving ourselves first. The difference between the human being who loves themselves first and the human being who doesn’t though, is that the latter will crumble the moment that love is gone. This subconsciously (or consciously) creates a state of “paranoia” for both parties. It creates trust issues. It causes one or both sides to be dependent, and therefore; causes one or both parties to feel scared because they feel responsible for someone else’s happiness. That is a weight that no human being can/should bare. And it is not even a reality. No one, under any circumstance is responsible for another human being’s happiness. We wonder why our relationships don’t last and we are hurt/crushed when they don’t. If we would take these moments as an opportunity to look at ourselves and the role we played in things not working out, we could reduce the chances of it happening again. But this requires conscious effort, something that we are not always willing put forth. And that’s ok, but when the pattern continues to repeat itself, we have to remember the energy we were not willing to put forth ahead of time. It’s a choice of what requires more energy? Fixing things (and by “things” I mean ourselves) before entering the next relationship OR picking up the pieces of ourselves and trying to put them back together after we “get hurt” once again. (And I put “get hurt” in quotations because we like to blame everyone/everything besides ourselves. We are afraid to face the fact that we might be the issue.)

The reality is that, this too is a cycle: We look outside of ourselves for Love. We get it. We have an underlying fear of losing that love. We lose it (because of our lack of trust or the unbearable weight we put on another human being). We crumble and blame the other person. We feel scared again. Chase after love again. And the cycle continues.

The ONLY way to stop this cycle is by loving ourselves. Trusting ourselves. Looking within. Looking within for EVERYTHING that we have looked outside of ourselves for. For me personally, it has been a terrifying concept. It involves being alone, and not just in the physical sense, but in feeling absolutely alone. And then learning to love that person. The person who lies beneath all of the excess. As it turns out, I now Love that person. She’s pretty damn ballin’ actually.

One of the greatest quotes I have heard is “If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.” Loving ourselves not only stops us from chasing “things” outside of ourselves, but it creates a shield in which we become invincible to any outside force that doesn’t align with Who We Are.

You Have Everything

Do not fight for the answers
You will never have them all:

The answers you need though,
They lie within

Do not be afraid to look outward for guidance
But more importantly, do not be afraid to trust yourself
Trust that although you are young, you have answers too
You do not “know everything” like some days you believe you do
But your gut gives you the important answers
You are blessed with intuition,
Use it

Do not aim to be perfect
You never will be:

Do not set a bar
Just to punish yourself for the days you do not meet it
Set a bar so that you become better
But have patience with yourself on the days you miss it

We were not put here to suffer
We are here to love
Ourselves and each other
(In that order!)

Do not look to others to give you what you need
They will never be able to:

The moment you start looking outside of yourself for satisfaction,
Is precisely the moment you will not be satisfied
People and things will not make you happy

Do not think falling in love will solve anything
It will not.
Falling in love was not meant to be an answer to anything
It was not meant to be the solution to anyone’s problems
No one can and no one will “save” you
And you cannot save anyone
That is not what love is about.
Real love is when you can give of yourself without compromising who you are and what you need.
And it is when you do not expect a partner to sacrifice who they are and what they need.

So go for a walk
Hear the ocean
Watch the ocean

Take time to observe your environment
Absorb your surroundings
LET THE WORLD IN
Yes, it will hurt some days
But others, it will be so beautiful
You could not have imagined living any other way

And when it all feels like too much
Breathe deeply
Allow peace to resonate within you
And remember that you have all that you need

Your bones and your skin and your body,
they hold your heart
They hold it closely
And they hold you together

Everything you need
Is within this framework

Trust this and you will live each day
Happier than the one before.

The Beginning (dedicated to Ella)

For everything lost
Something is gained

For everything lost
Something is found

That is the beauty of this world

For today’s ending
Is tomorrow’s beginning

And today’s misunderstanding
Is tomorrow’s teaching

Yet do not be rushed to find this teaching

Do it in your own time

Come face to face with your burdens

Question yourself and your beliefs
Question others and theirs

Decide what you love and what you hate
Decide who you love
And then change your mind

Forgive yourself
Forgive others

Release what no longer serves you

You were put here with a purpose
Go find what it is

For this is what it takes
When seeking the Truth

And through this search for purpose and truth
Accept Who You Are
And where you’re at
Do the same for others

Accept the darkness
And the light

Embrace your state of mind
(For as crazy as you feel
You are beautiful)

And when this is done
May You awaken to see the world
Through eyes of wonder and awe

And may you have peace of mind
In truly knowing
That this is not the end
It is only the beginning…